I have so far avoided speaking of some of the challenges my kids face. Not today. But don't get the wrong idea. Today was a good day in parenthood!
DS has been playing a lot of online games that allow you to keep moving up a notch. Today, we went to see one of our doctors and he was so proud to share his newfound determination to "take his eating to the next level, hamburger." It is his choice, to take on the task of trying such a common food. This will make it easier to imagine a playdate at a friends or vice versa, if he can eat such a common food. For those of us with SPD and other special needs kids, the smell, the texture, the combination of textures and the thought of eating an animal, can keep your child from ever eating meat. We have a plan and I truly think that if I do my bit, he will do his. I also truly believe his body is really driving him as well. He is in the 99.9+ percentile in height for his age. Right now, his clothing size is 10/11 but he is just approaching age 8. Eating hamburgers would make things like a barbeque feasible. It would also mean that he could eat almost anywhere in the world. That is NOT something we can do today on his limited diet. (except for his Ensure which is fairly widely available and peanut butter)
My DD who has been so miserable about the weather and snowpants and layers all winter, showing signs of Sensory issues that never existed before - went to an indoor amusement park with her daycare. She was so worried about it, leading up to the day. In fact, she worries a lot lately. I can't recognize her sometimes, with anxieties I never, ever thought would even cross her mind. She's just not that kid you expect to be fearful or worried, she's just not. But lately, she is. Things change in life, when you least expect them to.
But just as she was determined to get over her fear of the subway on the Christmas break, so we could visit someone downtown on their lunch hour, she was determined to nip her rollercoaster anxiety in the bud, too. And she sure did! She went on every ride they let her! (and no, I wasn't there!)
Sometimes with parenting, you coax and you beg and you plead and you negotiate or try to, until you are blue in the face. But mostly, I try to coach and support and do my darndest to not 'blow a gasket' as we say around here, when DD changes her clothes again or refuses to wear tights with feet or swears she 'doesn't do jeans and my own mommy doesn't understand me!" Because, short of literally dragging your kids through an incident or even the entire day, you will lose as they will continue to buck harder and harder until you back off and give in. I have pretty much let DS stick to his tried and true comfort foods. Most attempts to do otherwise, within our own home, failed. They also usually upset him. Not a nice thing to do, because it just creates more anxiety, more self consciousness etc. Can't get there from here type stuff.
But I do understand - I do. I despised tights. And as a youth, I despised having to wear nylons for weddings or office work or retail work or anywhere else that demanded them. My hand used to feel 'raw' from the paper as I wrote, in the winter, from dry skin and dry paper. It was highly annoying feeling. I still hate wearing things snug around my waist proper.
And you know what else? I lived on peanut butter and jam for a year and a half apparently. I am healthier than most these days! I still eat it at least three times a week! So I understand my son's love affair with it. I also totally wanted to throw up if I was so much in the same room as a smoked turkey sandwich. I just didn't know that all that stuff could add up to being hypersensitive. It wasn't pervasive, but it was there. I developed Renaud's quite young. Now I get it.
Some of us just are highly sensitive people.
In more tribal times, we were expected to watch out for danger. Our extra keen senses, were an attribute that was entirely useful.
The objective now, is to help my kids come to terms with their sensitive bodies, their sensitive natures and learn to negotiate and self regulate and self advocate, so they can be themselves, be comfortable in their environments and share their 6th and 7th senses and intuition, with the rest of the world. Because they really do feel and sense more. I think they/we are extra lucky. It just takes awhile to get to that position. They will get there, I did.
DS has been playing a lot of online games that allow you to keep moving up a notch. Today, we went to see one of our doctors and he was so proud to share his newfound determination to "take his eating to the next level, hamburger." It is his choice, to take on the task of trying such a common food. This will make it easier to imagine a playdate at a friends or vice versa, if he can eat such a common food. For those of us with SPD and other special needs kids, the smell, the texture, the combination of textures and the thought of eating an animal, can keep your child from ever eating meat. We have a plan and I truly think that if I do my bit, he will do his. I also truly believe his body is really driving him as well. He is in the 99.9+ percentile in height for his age. Right now, his clothing size is 10/11 but he is just approaching age 8. Eating hamburgers would make things like a barbeque feasible. It would also mean that he could eat almost anywhere in the world. That is NOT something we can do today on his limited diet. (except for his Ensure which is fairly widely available and peanut butter)
My DD who has been so miserable about the weather and snowpants and layers all winter, showing signs of Sensory issues that never existed before - went to an indoor amusement park with her daycare. She was so worried about it, leading up to the day. In fact, she worries a lot lately. I can't recognize her sometimes, with anxieties I never, ever thought would even cross her mind. She's just not that kid you expect to be fearful or worried, she's just not. But lately, she is. Things change in life, when you least expect them to.
But just as she was determined to get over her fear of the subway on the Christmas break, so we could visit someone downtown on their lunch hour, she was determined to nip her rollercoaster anxiety in the bud, too. And she sure did! She went on every ride they let her! (and no, I wasn't there!)
Sometimes with parenting, you coax and you beg and you plead and you negotiate or try to, until you are blue in the face. But mostly, I try to coach and support and do my darndest to not 'blow a gasket' as we say around here, when DD changes her clothes again or refuses to wear tights with feet or swears she 'doesn't do jeans and my own mommy doesn't understand me!" Because, short of literally dragging your kids through an incident or even the entire day, you will lose as they will continue to buck harder and harder until you back off and give in. I have pretty much let DS stick to his tried and true comfort foods. Most attempts to do otherwise, within our own home, failed. They also usually upset him. Not a nice thing to do, because it just creates more anxiety, more self consciousness etc. Can't get there from here type stuff.
But I do understand - I do. I despised tights. And as a youth, I despised having to wear nylons for weddings or office work or retail work or anywhere else that demanded them. My hand used to feel 'raw' from the paper as I wrote, in the winter, from dry skin and dry paper. It was highly annoying feeling. I still hate wearing things snug around my waist proper.
And you know what else? I lived on peanut butter and jam for a year and a half apparently. I am healthier than most these days! I still eat it at least three times a week! So I understand my son's love affair with it. I also totally wanted to throw up if I was so much in the same room as a smoked turkey sandwich. I just didn't know that all that stuff could add up to being hypersensitive. It wasn't pervasive, but it was there. I developed Renaud's quite young. Now I get it.
Some of us just are highly sensitive people.
In more tribal times, we were expected to watch out for danger. Our extra keen senses, were an attribute that was entirely useful.
The objective now, is to help my kids come to terms with their sensitive bodies, their sensitive natures and learn to negotiate and self regulate and self advocate, so they can be themselves, be comfortable in their environments and share their 6th and 7th senses and intuition, with the rest of the world. Because they really do feel and sense more. I think they/we are extra lucky. It just takes awhile to get to that position. They will get there, I did.
